Why the blog?
I am starting this new blog as an outlet for me to express the feelings and thoughts that I have about my new life in Christ Jesus. It is a journal of the revelations that I receive in my theology of the Christian faith. They are my opinions shaped by my heart, my mind, and my soul as I study the Word. It's a record of my journey towards discovering biblical truths for the first time or rediscovering long-held doctrines in a new light.My testimony in a nutshell
I have always believed in God. I was born into that belief. I grew up believing that there is God up there looking after me when my parents were not around. And when they weren't around, I did sinful things. Many that I don't care to list here. But I believed that when I got into trouble, somehow, I wouldn't be able to get away with it. That I'd be found out and then get punished. During that time, spanking was an acceptable form of parental discipline. I got spanked a handful of times with bruises that hurt like a burn. Ironically, this persevering thought of God watching over me may have been the reason why I stayed out of trouble during elementary and all the way through high school. I was afraid of getting punished.In university, I avoided the campus Christian proselytizers. They were the ones actively recruiting Catholics to become born-again Christians by asking "When you die tonight, do you know where you are going?" I remember thinking that my prejudice towards them were shaped by the common fear among largely Catholic folks that they weren't teaching the real faith. They were armed with bible verses to discredit Mary, the Saints, and the rituals of the Church that have been the common thread holding the fabric of our culture.
In retrospect, I could have spent time with them and learned more about this "born-again" thing. It could have brought me sooner to the realization of the amazing grace of God in my life. All through university and in fact throughout my early career, I avoided such encounters. I recall a conversation between a lady coworker of mine about her similar encounter with Baptist folks. I recall her reaction as somehow being repulsed by their invitation to attend church with them. I wondered then what turned her off so much as to be blinded by their message. I think it was the misguided association of the word "Baptist" to fundamentalist and militant Christians showing off their hypocrisy and hatred toward other people who were different. Of course, now I know that the fundamentalists are just cult members whose leaders pervert bible doctrines to serve their own self interests.
It's all about...
I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior at a non-denominational Sunday service offered at a business conference that I attended with my wife. I don't recall much about the sermon but when the pastor started asking people to come to the front and close their eyes and bow their heads, I just went. I prayed the sinner's prayer. Then what happened next was totally uncharacteristic of me. I cried inconsolably like someone I love had died in front of me. I realize it was my old self that died. A few weeks after that experience, I lived like I was God's only child. I started focusing on living for Him not wanting to disappoint Him and losing His precious gift. I shed my practice of touching blessed artifacts for blessings and healings. I discontinued reciting the rosary and the litanies. I gathered all my statues and amulets and gave them all away. I still attended a Catholic church just to hear the sermons and to receive communion. Gradually, I ended up attending a Baptist church. I loved the praise and worship in the beginning of each Sunday service. They evoked in me the feeling of connectedness to God. I started reading the Bible and attending bible studies to deepen my knowledge of the Bible and Jesus Christ. Somehow though, I still felt that I could lose my salvation gift. I started focusing on what I can do to maintain my standing with God. In other words, I lived a very religious life that was based on a checklist of items to do. I was angry at myself or blamed others for coming late during services and missing praise and worship. I was guilted to doing charity and giving money to tithes. When there was an opportunity to share my testimony, I felt that I didn't deserve the privilege. I became convinced that my blessings come and go depending on how much I got obeying the commandments. Good luck meant I did good. Bad luck meant I did or missed something in my practice of holiness. Worse, when I or someone in my family got sick or died (such as my mom dying from cancer), I blamed myself and thought my past sins have caught up to me.... the heart
Then I met a Christ-centered, bible-based, grace teaching pastor. It's a one way meeting actually. I simply listened and watched his broadcast sermons and podcasts because you see, he is a TV pastor. He is quite unique among the many TV pastors that have come and gone on television. It's very easy at first glance to dismiss him as one of the snake oil ministries or the apocalyptic messengers or even the money for faith healers that have plagued televangelism throughout the last 30 to 40 years. But he's not like any other. In fact, he is a pastor of a megachurch in Singapore and his sermons are edited and broadcast on TV in 20-minute episodes. His grace teaching is to clearly separate and expose the difference between the Law on side and Grace and Truth on another side. Needless to say, he became influential in my spiritual revival. His teachings appealed to my heart.Following his advice, I started reading the bible through the lens of Jesus' finished work on the cross. He discouraged literalism in bible interpretation especially of the old testament and encouraged people to always read the bible in context. Read the previous verse or chapter, then read the succeeding verse or chapter. Consider the history of the time period it was written, the author, and the audience and get to know the original Greek and Hebrew texts. Through his teachings, I became more immersed in my bible reading and I felt the real presence of the Holy Spirit guiding me in my studies. I began to see the real amazing grace found in the person of Jesus Christ.
... the mind
Then, at the beginning of this year, influenced by a cousin-in-law, I found a pastor who is an excellent communicator and a great expositor of Jesus. I auditioned his sermons on the church website before deciding to listen to his Christ-focused messages during Sunday services. Presently, I regularly attend the Baptist church where he is the senior pastor. His method of teaching is to present contrasts and extremes in Christian living and then bring Jesus into the equation. I sense his passionate disdain for "religious" living often criticizing the self-righteous behavior of some so-called followers of Christ (who may be attending the church, yikes!) He is an intellectual, an avid reader, a Church historian. We've been exchanging emails and he's been gracious enough to answer my many questions about the faith we share in Jesus. I developed an appreciation of the rich history of the Church (and its many characters from Acts to modern times) and started incorporating this in my theology. This pastor's teachings appealed to my mind.... the soul
Lately, as I advanced in my personal theology of the grace of God through his Son, opportunities to share my testimony have begun to come to me in every direction. My wife and daughter are the immediate beneficiaries. I think that I've changed for the better for them because of the revelations of Jesus Christ in my own studies.I began ministering to my father and two sisters and every chance I get when I talk to them over the phone or on Facebook, I tell them about God's love and his gift of Jesus.
I am now more engaged in bible studies and fellowship ministries with my brothers and sisters in Christ and I share my faith with colleagues in the office. I'd like to say that my own study of the bible appealed to my soul.
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